Good News Everybody, I have just returned from a mysterious city in the depth of the forbidden zone.

My gentlemen friends and I decided to journey to Seoul again…

I went into the urban jungle a mere slip of a girl and I emerged, a man. Last time we went to Seoul the subway system struck fear into my heart but this time round we laughed in the face of danger and rode the subway like old salts that had been doing so for years! Victory was indeed ours.

On Saturday we had a gander at one of the touristy Hanok villages. Whilst there we were treated to the sight of children playing traditional Korean games such as ‘throw the arrow in the box,’ ‘top and whip’ and ‘hoop and stick.’ Sure who needs an ipad when you have an assortment of sticks?

When evening fell we made our way to the top of Namsan Tower. We made it to the top just in time to see the sky change from night to day. The city looked like a carpet of twinkly stars and we were as gods watching the world from above and scoffing heartily at the foolishness of humans! Well perhaps it wasn’t quite so epic as that but it was a pretty view nonetheless. 

We rounded off the evening in the expat section of Jinju where we had some beverages and then retired for the night.

The next day we went to the King’s former house (also known as Gyeongbokgung palace) and we went for a pleasant perambulation around the grounds. The palace is a very lavish affair despite having been burnt to the ground on several occasions by angry invaders. I guess in hindsight a flammable wooden castle possibly wasn’t the most well fortified establishment in the world…

I have now left this place of wrath and tears and am once again safely stationed in my apartment in Jinju city.

I shall leave you with the most exciting news I have received since arriving here. (Dramatic pause) . I am to have a mystery guest! She has red curly hair like the devil, eyes as big as saucers and a bionic arm. Also, her name rhymes with ‘Barah.’ I am all aflutter about the prospect of her arrival and have already started fattening calves and slaughtering lambs all over the shop in preparation for her visit!

Yay! :)

When Irish Eyes are Smiling (you know you've been robbed...)

Greetings kindly knaves and wily wenches,

Happy belated Paddy’s Day!

 I was worried that I would be unable to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day over here as most people seem to be unaware of its existence. Indeed, I have many students who don’t believe in Ireland let alone the holidays that are celebrated therein. We were learning about holidays in one of my classes a few weeks ago and the children had no problem identifying Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, New Year’s etc. However, when I held up the picture of the green dancing leprechaun that was supposed to represent St. Patrick’s Day they drew a blank. I asked if they could guess which country this holiday belonged to and they responded ‘Mexico.’

Happily, Eoin found a forum for foreigners online that told of a Paddy's Day party that would be taking place in a bar at the other side of town. We dutifully went there after work to check it out. At first we were wary about the whole affair. It seemed too good to be true to believe that there were other foreign folk in Jinju! Eoin feared that the online post he read may have been part of an elaborate ruse to lure us into a back alley and steal our kidneys or possibly just make sport of us for being Irish. Thankfully, the party was real! The bar was riddled with round eyes clad in green from all over the world!  We met Americans, Canadians, English, Scottish, Irish and a large group of Frenchmen who were in Korea for the purpose of ‘making zee helicopters.’ I had to drink a few green beers before I had worked up the courage to approach all the shiny happy people but by the end of the night we had mingled the bejaysus out of that room! A good night full of shamrocks and shillelaghs was had by all. We were a mite hung over at work the next morning, especially a certain Welshman who somehow managed to lose the sight in one eye for a brief spell. I guess you know you’ve had a good night when you go temporarily blind the next day!

We spent our Saturday at a nearby coastal city called Tongyeong. We took yet another cable car to the top of a mountain. I believe it was called Mireuksan. Cable cars really are an ingenious invention; they really take the stress out of the whole mountain climbing malarkey. I didn’t even break a sweat! This particular cable car stretched out 1975m. After the cable car we went to Gangguan harbour to admire the prettiful boats. This peaceful scene was disturbed somewhat though by the Korean heavy metal band that was playing on the promenade… The men were making a valiant effort to look hardcore with their black gloves and badass balaclavas but it was hard to view them as threatening when one looked at their audience which consisted almost exclusively of Korean school girls wielding ‘We luv u’ banners.

I shall bid you adieu now and go in search of chocolate.

Alive Alive-Oh.

P.S. I have received some emails from people who are concerned that I may have met my untimely demise due to the Japanese earthquake. I want to assure people that I am undead. By which I mean that I have not died, not that I am a reanimated zombie corpse wandering the earth in search of brains. Sorry, that word choice may have been confusing...

Fish, like all gill bearing creatures, are inherently gross.

Greetings friends and foes,

I hope you are all safe in your castles and that the black knight is being kept at bay.

It has been a stressful week at work. Despite having pledged to give us a more reasonable work schedule our Director has reneged on his promises and has given us yet more classes. That man is slipperier than a clam sliding down a pole coated in Vaseline. Which is pretty gosh darn slippery. But I shall not dwell on my work woes and shall instead regale you with stories about my weekend.

My fellow round eyes and I journeyed to Busan for our respite. This is not our first time to frequent said city but it is of such an immense size that it will take several trips to see it. The population of Busan is in fact the same as the population of Ireland. Madness. The city is even in the process of reclaiming some land from the sea so it can build even more skyscrapers. Neptune (God of the Sea) Jones will not be best pleased when he hears of this…

On Saturday we took a gander at Busan tower and admired a panoramic view of the city from its majestic heights.

We then pottered on down to Jagalchi fish market (the world’s largest fish market no less) to admire the fine array of funky fish they had on display. They had crabs that were bigger than my face, an army of squidfords and loads of weird fleshy fish that looked like fingers with mouths… I didn’t care for them. I liked looking at all the fishys in their little dishys but I wouldn’t fancy eating them. Especially not while they’re still alive. Call me old fashioned but I believe that one’s food should not have the power of looking at you accusingly whilst you devour it.  Here are some pics of the limbless freaks for your viewing pleasure.

For our evening’s entertainment we ventured to Haeundae beach where we admired the twinkly lights of the surrounding city from its sandy shores.  Then we went for a drink at an ‘authentic’ Irish pub called ‘O’Kim’s’ by the waterfront. Check out the pub’s logo below. Sure nothing says ‘Ireland’ quite like the image of a ninja wrestling a leprechaun. Well, you know, ninjas, leprechauns, you know that whole connection there.

On Sunday we went to Geumjeong fortress in the mountains around Busan. We were conveyed to the top by cable car while the rest of the hikers used their legs like suckers. The flying car was a lot of fun though the ‘fortress’ at the top was more of a glorified stone wall to be fair. A pleasant way to spend the day all the same.

I am now back in Jinju and I am feeling rather tired so I shall cease my crazed ramblings and retire for the eve.

Fare thee well my fellow Earthicans.

A tide of jam...

Fair gentlemen and noble shrews,

I hope this post finds you well.

A man was delivered to our school from Ireland this week. His name is Eoin and he has a happy face. His interests include cake, tea and jumpers. He promises to prove a fine addition to our staff.

We all went out on Friday to celebrate the start of the new semester and Eoin’s arrival. We started the night off in a traditional Korean beef restaurant where we gorged ourselves on sweetmeats. You shall be pleased to hear that I have finally mastered the chopstick so I didn’t embarrass myself whilst trying to introduce the food to my face. Yay me! Here is a pic of the feast before we savagely devoured it.

We then made our way to a bar that looked like the witch’s house from Hansel and Gretel. There we sipped from bowls of Korean rice wine that I think is called Makgeolli. We also had tofu, some kind of giant pancake that looked like it was made from grass, and a fine selection of fruits.

Next, we ventured to a nightclub. It was fairly different from an Irish nightclub. There was no shortage of chairs or tables. In fact, we got a whole room to ourselves! The room was furnished with plush red couches, a grand old wooden table and the obligatory karaoke machine. We even had our own man to serve us beer and snacks! The snacks were amusing; instead of the regular fare of Pringles and Tayto we munched on thin pieces of dried octopus and dried squid. There was a stage and a dance floor downstairs so when you wanted to dance you simply left the room and went to the floor below. The DJ was a tiny topless Asian man who drove all the girls crazy with his wild gyrating. The shirtless man later removed his trousers and became the pantless man. To my great amusement, when the DJ started to strip one of the teachers screamed in alarm and quickly shielded my eyes lest the sight of a man in his smalls shock my delicate sensibilities. The other teachers are a mite older than me which may be why they were so oddly overprotective. I was led to the dance floor by the hand and when I attempted to go to the toilet without an escort I was reprimanded. Apparently they were afraid that I’d be robbed, in the sense that I myself might be stolen. Hilarious. Though I guess these things do happen, remember Mrs O’Dwyer…

The rest of the weekend was spent showing young Master Eoin around the city and travelling about on the motorbike in search of touristy stuff. We were treated to the sight of an army of colourfully dressed soldier men at the castle and we also came across yet another brightly painted temple nestled in the woods on the outskirts of the city. A fine weekend all in all.

I must away now… Good day to you all. I said good day!

P.S. Our local supermarket sells baby hedgehogs (or indeed hedgepigs) in boxes. This troubles me...