Good Daegu to you.

Greetings and salutations!

The weekend started early last week as we went out on Thursday night to bid farewell to some of the foreign teachers who were leaving. Waking up on Friday morning with a hangover and realising that it was not in fact Saturday and we still had to go to work was most unpleasant…

The rest of my weekend was well spent exploring the city of Daegu. Daegu is South Korea’s third largest city but it is not as hugely perplexing as Seoul. The subway system only has two lines significantly reducing the chances of getting lost forever in an underground labyrinth.  :)

On Saturday we pottered around Daegu’s Herbal Market which has been supplying the good people of South Korea with traditional medicines since 1658. Here you can stock up on such essentials as obscenely large ginseng roots, moose antlers and lizard tails. Sure nothing cures what ails ya like a good old-fashioned dried-up reptile. The streets had a fragrant smell of all things herb making it a pleasant place for a stroll. We also went for a quick perambulation down ‘Rice Cake Street’ where there was a fine array of colourful cakes on display. After we had allowed our hungry eyes to feast on these delicious sights we went on a tour of some of the city’s parks and then retired for the eve.

On Sunday we journeyed to the historic Haein-sa to see the temple and the Buddhist library that are stationed there. Haein-sa library is famed for its collection of 81, 258 woodblock scriptures. Legend has it that silver birches were chopped down and made into woodblocks, then the wood was soaked in sea water for several years before being dried in the shade for a further number of years in order to prepare it for carving. The woodblocks have survived a Japanese invasion, two fires, a near-bombing during the Korean War and nearly a thousand years of potential weathering. Miraculously, they are still in pristine condition. The great bellied man himself seems to be guarding these texts because even the animals and insects are purported to stay away. During the 70s the Korean government ordered ‘top men’ to build a state of the art facility equipped with advanced ventilation, temperature and humidity control to keep the blocks safe. However, the test blocks started to form mildew so the real scriptures were left in the original library under Buddha’s watchful eye. 

In other news the game of musical chairs continues at work with 3 more teachers having quit in the last two weeks. I grow fearful that I won’t recognise anyone the next time I enter the staffroom… But everything else in Korea is still fine and dandy. :)

Part 3: Scary Soldiers and Beatific Buddhas

It continues further…

On Thursday we travelled back to Seoul. We arose the next morning at the ungodly hour of 6am in order to be ready for the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) tour that left the USO (United Service Organizations) military base at 7:30 am. We had to be there early though so they could make sure our attire was appropriate. Apparently you can’t be slovenly dressed because North Korean soldiers might use footage of you as propaganda to prove that the rest of the world is poor…

The DMZ is a 240km-long border that separates North and South Korea. It is guarded on both sides by soldiers in a constant state of battle readiness, electrical fences, barbed wire and a feck load of landmines. It has been dubbed ‘one of the scariest places on earth’ and it is also, rather bizarrely, a popular tourist attraction.

The first part of our tour brought us to the JSA (Joint Security Area) where we watched an informative film about the history of the Korean War. Then we went to Panmunjom where peace conferences sometimes take place in the UN buildings. South Korean soldiers were standing outside and inside the main conference room in a taekwondo stance with their bodies tensed and their fists clenched. They were also sporting some rather fetching sunglasses and daper hard hats. North Korean soldiers were standing at a distance at the other side of the conference room. One guy was watching us through binoculars and another guy was filming us. The US army man who was serving as our guide encouraged us to take many photos of them as they were taking pictures of us. We were told that there aren’t usually many North Korean soldiers in sight but when we moved towards the conference room several of them came out of nowhere and surrounded the building. I think it was just a scare tactic to intimidate us tourists. The soldiers all moved in unison and it would have been quite unnerving to watch them if it were not for the fact that their perfectly choreographed moves made them resemble a West Side Story-esque musical gang. I think it was they way they swung their arms in a flamboyant sideways motion as they marched… Here are some pictures of the soldiers. The men in short sleeves and sunglasses are the South Korean soldiers and the men in olive coloured long-sleeved uniforms are the North Korean soldiers.

Luckily the JSA is the one place in South Korea where you can get so close to North Korean soldiers without being arrested or shot in the face so we were able to enter the conference room unmolested. The conference room straddles the ceasefire line so part of the room is technically North Korean ground. I have therefore spent about four and a half minutes standing on the grounds of Asia’s dark star. 

After the JSA we were taken to a lookout post where we could see the two villages in the DMZ. On the South side is Daeseong-dong, a small village where South Korean citizens are given huge tax incentives by the government to live and work in such an inhospitable environment. They have an 11pm curfew and they are surrounded by soldiers at all times while they work in the fields. However, they are also given a tax-free income, modern housing and substantially bigger farms than most South Koreans. 

On the North side of the line is the Gijeong-dong propaganda village. Our guide informed us that there is nobody living there; most of the buildings are empty and some are just facades. The lights in the village also rather suspiciously all come on and off at the same time. The village has a 160-m tower at its epicentre flying the North Korean flag. This tower is probably the daftest part of the whole set-up; it was only erected because the South Korean village originally had a bigger tower with a flag so the North Koreans felt that they had to respond by constructing an even bigger flag waving phallus. 

Next, we went on a trip to the Third Infiltration Tunnel. The North Koreans have dug a number of tunnels leading into South Korea for the purpose of launching surprise attacks. The Third Tunnel was discovered in 1978 and others have been unearthed since. The tunnel is quite claustrophobic as the sides are narrow and the ceiling is low. Most people had to remain hunched-over the whole way but I could walk upright as I am a pocket-sized person. The tunnels most ‘unique’ feature was the soot smeared walls. Apparently, the North Koreans had hoped to disguise the tunnel as a coal mine by blackening the walls despite the fact that on closer inspection the rock is quite clearly revealed to be granite. I’m almost surprised that this tactic didn’t work; one thing I’ve learned since coming to Korea is that facades usually count for more than facts. I have no pictures of the tunnel as photography was forbidden at this point.

The Dora Observatory was next on the itinerary. Here you can peer through binoculars into North Korea. We were also shown Dorasan train station, a symbol of hope for the reunification of the two Koreas. 

That concludes my tale of the DMZ. After walking around in such a palpably tense place we felt in need of more peaceful environs. We therefore travelled to Songnisan National Park. This is definitely one of my favourite places in Korea; lots of lush greenery, multi-coloured temples, a towering wooden pagoda and a colossal 33m-high gold-plated Buddha statue. It’s hard not to feel serene with a giant golden God watching over you as you potter about betwixt the temples. Feast your eyes upon his big happy face. 

That is all my news. I am back in work on Thursday but I’ve had my fun now and that’s all that matters. :)

Part 2: Things get a little bit rapey...

It continues…

On Wednesday we arrived in Samcheok. It took us about 5 and a half hours to get there and it was raining copiously so we were unable to do any sightseeing upon our arrival. Anyway, I think the only sight within the actual town itself is the ‘Mystery Caves Exhibition’ that takes place in a building that looks like a giant wedding cake with melted brown icing… However, on Thursday the sun had got his hat on so we were able to journey forth into the great unknown! 

We got a bus from Samcheok that deposited us in the hills outside the town. We then huffed and puffed our way up the slopes until we reached Hwaseongul. Hwaseongul is a vast Cathedral-sized limestone cave. The dissolving limestone has taken the shape of majestic mucus-like monuments, gnarled popcorn rock and even the Virgin Mary herself! The cave was quite spectacular but the neon staircases that weaved through the cave spoiled the natural look a tad. As did the army of school children who kept racing along the stairs making ‘whoooooo’ noises that then echoed and rebounded off the walls. At least I hope they were schoolchildren and not an actual army of child ghosts…

After visiting the cave we took a bus to the fabled Haesindang Park also known as the ‘Penis Park.’ This park is devoted exclusively to showcasing phallic sculptures. There are penis totem poles, penis statues, penis cannons and a penis-shaped lighthouse to guide lost fishermen back to shore. All they have to do is follow the cock. They even had a semi-circular arrangement of peni representing the zodiac. And a knob bench from which to admire it. At first I thought that it was a tad bizarre that a country as conservative as Korea should construct a park solely for the purpose of worshipping the male member. But it turns out that there was a perfectly logical explanation for it all; the penises were merely erected (ha, erected) to appease an angry virgin who drowned at sea. The local fishermen sculpted over 50 giant penises in order to sate her spirit so it would stop taking its frustration out on the sea and scaring away the fish. As you do. The townspeople even used to hold a ‘Penis Sculpture Festival’ but it was shut down by Christian protesters. I can see them now, marching around with their placards saying ‘DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING’ and ‘CAREFUL NOW.’ 

All in all the Penis Park was very surreal and just a little bit rapey. :) My next post shall tell the tale of the DMZ and the Giant Buddha. Don't hold your breath until then though, as you would surely perish if you tried...