Dastardly Despots, Dogs and Daegu.

Greetings all,

Last weekend I journeyed to the city of Daegu with six other intrepid explorers. Our mission was to infiltrate an animal shelter by the name of ‘Kaps’ and abduct a selection of their most fearsome beasts for a couple of hours of volunteer dog-walking. Most of the dogs turned out to be pocket-sized puffballs rather than hounds of hell but we all had a perfectly pleasant perambulation nonetheless. We all got to choose our own dog and then we ventured out into the great unknown. My dog was a cheeky wee urchin with an inordinate amount of fur; he looked like he’d put his paw in an electrical socket. I dubbed him ‘Sir Shag-Pile.’ I chose him because he matched my hair. Gareth rather amusingly chose a miniature Dachshund with impossibly small legs attached to a sausage-like body that grazed the ground. Poor ‘Stumps’ was unable to keep up with Gareth’s large manly strides so Gareth was obliged to carry him in his arms like some kind of fashion accessory. It was hilarious to behold.



Before setting out on our walk we were given two golden rules to follow: 1. No extreme humping. (I’m not sure why the lady felt it necessary to add that this only applies to dogs…) 2. Don’t let the Koreans touch your dogs. Probably wise as people have a nasty habit of eating them over here… We all had a fine time walking the wee dogs and taking part in the whole rough and tumble of canine activity. The only sad part of the whole experience was returning the dogs to the shelter as by then we had all named our wards and given them back-stories…

After the shelter we took a stroll down Pet ‘so cute it’s sick’ Street. All the shop windows contain puppies and kittens frolicking about in little pink boxes. The animals were cute but I can’t say that I approved of their attire; animals should not wear bibs or blusher. It demeans us all.

In the evening we attended a local production of ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’ then we went on to the after-party where we danced and made merry. We all spent the night in Daegu and then returned to fair Jinju the next morning.

Jinju is looking very colourful at the moment as preparations are underway for the Lantern Festival next weekend. Some of the lanterns are already afloat on the river and more are being made under the bridge. Even Jinju castle has been accessorized with a few floats. I shall attach a few pics for your viewing pleasure.



















Tune in next week for another exciting instalment of ‘An Epic Quest.’

Chuseok :)

Happy Chuseok everybody!

Chuseok is a harvest festival in Korea where people have Thanksgiving feasts with their kin. We got Monday and Tuesday off for this holiday so we were able to enjoy a long weekend. :)

On Friday afternoon we had lunch at a fancy shabu-shabu restaurant with the teachers. One of the teachers is betrothed so Friday was her last day before the wedding. We have all been invited and as I know very little about Korean nuptials I am sure to make many a faux-pas when the time comes. Eating at the restaurant was a very complicated affair as we had to craft intricate little rice-sheet tacos out of the array of colourful produce that was before us. My favourite part of the meal was the pink Barbie noodles. :)

That night we went out with some of the teachers and the other waygooks for another leaving-do. The night ended with fisticuffs when a man from Scotland insulted a lady's honour and was subsequently challenged to a duel by a man from South Africa. It did not end well... Other than that spot of drama though it was a nice night.

We decided to spend the weekend hiking in Seoraksan National Park in the Northernmost part of the country. As this park is a 9 hour drive from Jinju we resolved to break up the journey by spending a night in Seoul. We stayed in the area of Cheong-gye-cheon, my favourite part of the city. Most of Seoul is made up of a suffocating mass of high rise buildings that is why finding a green area in the midst of the urban jungle is refreshing. The river was lit up at night by brightly coloured lights and it was a very pleasant place for a stroll. We managed to catch one of the free laser light shows that are shown nightly by the riverside. The wizards behind the show used their sorcery to conjure up a graceful ballerina made up of blue light. They then compelled the dancer to trip lightly across the water’s surface for our amusement. 

The next morning we went to the National Museum of Korea and perused the treasures on display there. When we had finished being all cultural we got the bus to a place called Sokcho where we rested our weary bodies for the night in preparation for the big climb up Mount Seorak in the morning. Seoraksan National Park is full of craggy peaks, ghoulishly twisted rock formations and dense forests. On a clear day the views are supposed to be spectacular. However, when we arrived the park was surrounded by a grey haze and the mountains had just been washed by the rain. When standing at the bottom the mist shrouding the mountain gave it an eerie, ghostly quality. However, from the top the clouds stopped being atmospherically ominous and just became a royal pain in the ass as they enveloped all the surrounding mountains. When you have huffed and puffed your way up a steep cliff you expect to be rewarded with a bloody view! Nonetheless, the way to the peak had its highlights including a big bronze Buddha, an ancient Shilla-era temple, a massive 16 tonne boulder that tourists like to rock back and forth and a wee Buddhist grotto tucked neatly into a cave. The hike to the summit becomes more challenging near the peak where one most ascend into the heavens via an 808-step rusty red staircase that snakes up the sheer cliff face. Like I bemoaned earlier, there was no view awaiting us at the top but there was a bizarre little souvenir stall perched perilously at the peak that was amusing to behold. :) 

Well, that is all my news. I shall now cease to besmirch this page with ink. I shall leave you with this image from the elevator in our hotel warning guests of the dire consequences of letting a manic rabbit into a lift. It will only end in tears…

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.

Dear all,

It has been a busy few weeks here in Jinju. We have been attending a number of box socials as many people have reached the end of their contracts and have set sail for their homelands. Naturally, there have been many parties and feasts in honour of our fleeing comrades.

I went out on a ‘womens' night out’ the weekend before last for the purpose of saying ‘fare-thee-well’ to some of the ladies who are soon to leave the fold.  Whilst at the pub I somehow managed to obtain a part as an extra in a rap video. A Kiwi guy who fancied himself a rapper was shooting an amateur rap video starring himself. He had a shortage of ‘hoes’ for the club scenes so he asked my friends and I if we would care to dance around in the background as he got down with his bad self. We agreed and we even got to take part in the chorus; when the rapper guy called 'annyoung ha seh yo' (Korean for 'hello') we had to wave our arms and respond with 'ho-o.' It was all wonderfully daft. :)

Last Friday we went to a place called ‘Wine Bar’ for a night of drunken debauchery. It is a unique establishment in that it looks more like a grotty sitting-room than a bar as it is strewn with discoloured couches placed around a large table. For some reason only foreign types seem to frequent said bar… We spent most of Saturday morning re-hydrating after the night's shenanigans and when we felt human once more we went down to the river for beer and barbecue. There were about 50 round-eyes in attendance at the bbq so everywhere you looked there were eyes as big as saucers gazing upon you. This displeased some of the local types mightily. The elderly ‘ajumas’ who were playing croquet a few feet away seemed particularly irked. (An ajuma is a very scary breed of elderly lady in Korea. They all have short permed hair, sport visors and pink anoraks and they generally don’t care for young people, especially foreigners.) However, as always, we had our fun and that’s all that matters. We went for dinner when darkness fell and then we went out drinking once more. Some of us ended up going to a traditional Korean pub where you drink rice wine known as ‘dong-dong-ju’ out of wee wooden bowls. The establishment looked like a hobbit hole so it was ever so quaint. :)

On Sunday night we attended a farewell dinner for our esteemed friend Rob. Rob is a wise-cracking Jewish stereotype from New York. He was one of our most prized friends in Jinju so twas very sad to bid him adieu. (No pun intended.) We shall miss his cheeky urchin face.

In other news, a new Gareth from Wales has arrived in Jinju. Naturally both Gareths could not be allowed to continue on with the same moniker as that would lead to pandemonium. Gareth was sporting a rather rapey moustache the weekend of the barbecue so consequently the new Gareth was challenged to a tache-off and the loser had to renounce the name of Gareth. The new Gareth accidentally shaved off his whole beard in an attempt to fashion a perfectly symmetrical handle-bar moustache. As punishment for his defeat he has been dubbed ‘other Gareth’ and must address the original Gareth by his proper title of ‘Gareth the 1^st.’  

We were summoned to a dinner organised by 'other Gareth' on Friday night and then we went on to another going-away party. We managed to lure some of the Korean teachers out with us too so that was nice.

We spent yesterday in the company of some of our peers. We went on an outing to the lake then we had dinner and decided to round-off the evening with a trip to a ‘DVD Bang.’ A DVD Bang is a room that you can rent out with your friends in order to watch a movie of your choice on your own personal big screen. A most ingenious establishment.

I am now lazing on a sunny Sunday afternoon before having to face the madness at work again tomorrow. Another teacher left on Tuesday and two more are planning to leave before the end of the month. I too am not long for this world. By which I mean my contract will be up in three months and I shall be free to leave this school of wrath and tears, not that I shall soon die. I shall be most sad to leave Korea but it will be a joyous day when I say farewell to the evil overlord who runs my school. :)