Tidings of comfort and joy!

Merry Christmas all! I hope your day was full of festive cheer and lashings of ginger beer! 

Sorry I didn’t spread the Christmas joy earlier; I’ve been a little under the weather so I was remiss about my blogular duties... I hope that everyone enjoyed their stuffing and roast turkey:) Alas there was no turkey to be found in Jinju so we had to settle for roast eel with a side of silk worm larvae instead… That’s actually a lot nicer than it sounds. The restaurant was a very traditional ‘take off your shoes and sit on the floor’ kind of place but it did have a ye olde Christmas tree next to the wall display of stuffed fish. Which was nice.

In other news, we had a staff night out last week and I had my first taste of Korean drinking culture. Turns out Korean people REALLY like to play drinking games. The local tipple of choice was called 'soju.' It's a kind of pansy vodka. Amazingly, even though we all drank copious amounts of alcohol I managed to get through the night vomit free! I've finally found people that I'm more hardcore than when it comes to drinking.:) We went to a Korean karaoke bar after our boozy dinner and we all got down with our bad selves. I sang 'Last Christmas' by Wham.

We also had our medical exam last week to make sure that we are not riddled with foreign diseases. The whole process was kinda like being on a conveyer belt at a car wash except that instead of being washed, polished and shined we were prodded, poked and drained of our bodily fluids… We were pushed from one room to the next as they measured our height and weight, tested our eyes and ears, x-rayed our bodies, examined our breathing and checked our teeth. Then they put air fresheners around our necks to give us that ‘new car’ smell and sent us on our way. I felt a little violated after, I don’t like strangers pawing at my person…

Other than that last incident I'm liking Korea. I'm finally living in a country where I'm of average height in comparison to those around me so I'm happy. :) Oh, and I've found that being the only female teacher in the school with curly hair and blue eyes has its advantages. It has won me many comparisons to brunette movie stars, including the Amazonian-like Milla Jovovich!

Well, I have no more news of note so I shall slowly disappear......

The eagle has landed.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then let's begin.

I arrived in Jinju on Wednesday after an hour and a half flight to London, a subsequent six hour wait in Heathrow, an 11 hour flight to Seoul, an hour's taxi ride to the bus station and a five hour bus journey to Jinju. I smelt horrendous and was hideous to behold.

There was a moment of panic upon arrival in Jinju, we were supposed to be met at the bus station by the school director but when we alighted from the bus there was nary a director in sight! This was ever so slightly worrying as we did not have the address of our Korean abode, a working phone or the ability to speak Korean. Also it was the middle of the night and we were the only pale faces in the village... Someone from the school came to our rescue after about half an hour though and all was well!

The director has proven to be a worthy chap in the end. He has given us a nice rent-free apartment and has been providing us with furnishings and such like. He's kinda like a wholesome pimp who provides free gifts in exchange for English lessons... The apartment is small and very white. It's like living in a lunch box. Which pleases me. Though the bedding has a child's name embroidred across it which is a tad bizarre...

We had to go straight to work the day after we arrived. I was a tad tired but the first day went grand. The childer are highly disciplined, well trained learning machines. After spending all day in regular school they come to the English Academy to study English until nine! They are most impressive.

I am well pleased with the town. It's very laid back and is guarded by a very impressive fortress! There's also a nice mix of Eastern and Western shops. One can have eel for dinner and Special K for breakfast!

I must dash now, tune in next week for another exciting instalment!:)

Victory is mine!

I went to the Korean embassy today to beg the powers that be for a visa. They saw fit to grant my request and I shall be picking up the sacred document on Friday. :) They also assured me that the kerfuffle that is going on between North and South Korea at the moment will not lead to my untimely demise. Which is good.  

I have been snowed in for the past few weeks but I have not been idle whilst in my icy prison! I have used this time to try and prepare myself for life among the good people of South Korea. For example, I’ve attempted to master the art of using the mighty chopstick with the aid of instructive youtube videos. So far the chopstick has proven a worthy adversary and I have not yet learnt its secrets… The food continues to evade my grasp! If it were not for the keen foresight of my esteemed friend Sarah I would surely perish in that noodle crazed country… Luckily, this wise and plucky young lass has provided me with one of Ikea’s finest ‘chopsticks for retards.’ The two legs of the chopstick are held together with a spring so you don't have to be able to hold them properly to use them. It's basically a giant peg that grips food. Ingenious.

With the aid of helpful translation websites and of Feg’s Korean-English phrasebook and I have also learnt some useful Korean phrases such as the following: An-nyŏng (hello), Ki-rŭl i-rŏ-bŏ-ryŏ-ssŏ-yo (I'm lost), a-ra-dŭ-rŏss-ŏ-yo (I don’t understand), sal-sal-hae-yo (Easy tiger!) and perhaps most usefully of all Nae hoebuhkeurapeuteuneun changuhro kadeuk cha isseyo (My hovercraft is full of eels).

With my trusty chopstick in one hand and my Korean phrasebook in the other I shall be fully equipped to face any challenges that lie ahead! I hope...

It begins...

Dear friends (and indeed enemies), welcome to my blog! As you may be aware I am going to South Korea next Tuesday to seek my fortune! During my year in this fair country I hope to have many intrepid adventures, each one sexier and more exciting than the last! In order to record these adventures I have decided to harness the power of the Internet and to create one of these ‘blogs’ the kids are using these days. I am highly suspicious of this technology and may abandon this mode of communication if I feel the Internet is learning too many of my secrets… If I have learnt anything (and I have in fact learnt several things in my time) it is that the machine world is not to be trusted… 

I invite you all to join me as I boldly go where countless others have gone before!