Part 1: We're all going on our summer holidays!

Our summer holidays started last weekend and we have been travelling around the country for the past week seeing a mixed-bag of sights. Seat yourself now as I tell you tales of tombs disguised as hills, cheeky chipmunks, Buddhist temples, parks featuring giant penises in lieu of trees, encounters with North Korean soldiers and a 33m-high golden Buddha overlooking it all.

Our first port of call was the ancient city of Gyeonju, former capital of Korea during the Silla Dynasty. It’s described in guidebooks as an ‘open-air museum’ because it is full traditional fare. Instead of indecently tall sky-scrapers the city centre boasts buildings of a more modest stature with pretty hanok-style roofs. The city is also scattered with little green hillocks which are in fact burial mounds containing the remains of Kings and other such important folk.

On our first day there we went to Tumuli Park to look at the various tombs housed within. We even got to go inside one of the grassy mounds and take a gander at the King’s treasures. The park itself was very pretty, though the cicadas in the treetops were making an awful racket. Even though these insects are enormous they are impossible to spot when they’re in the trees. However, every now and again one would fall from the heavens only to be seized and dragged away by an army of black ants waiting in the wings. The cicadas would then strike up an even more frenzied chorus of war cries in order to mourn their fallen brethren. 

After having our fill of tombs we went to Wolseong Park to look at the colourful flowers. The park also contained the Far East’s oldest astrological observatory dating back to AD 632. I was more impressed by the nearby Anapji Pond though. The pound was lousy with pink and white lotus flowers and of course the inevitable slew of Korean couples in matching outfits. There were so many flowers in bloom that they created a carpet completely covering the water. It pleased my beady blue eye to behold. Not far from the pond was a colourful pagoda known as Bunhwang and a large white museum by the name of Gyeongju National Museum. My favourite part of the museum was a large ornate bell that was decorated with raised floral designs described by the information placard as ‘beautiful bell nipples.’

The next day we went on a day trip to Bulguk-sa temple in the mountains outside the city. Whilst touring the temple a wizened little old lady took a shine to Gareth and offered to be his guide. She had taught herself English with the aid of a dictionary (which is hugely impressive) and was eager to practise it on foreigners. She insisted that Gareth follow her around in search of ‘lucky pigs’ that were hidden around the temple grounds. If you rub the pig statues your family will gain wealth and achieve happiness. Gareth did as the old lady bid and then we left the temple full of ‘the luck o’ the pigs.’ 

In the mountains above Bulguk-sa is the grotto of Seokguram, home to a large stone Buddha that protects the surrounding land. We decided to hike up the mountain to view said grotto but our progress was very slow as we were being melted by the sun. Also, we kept getting distracted by the dancing chipmunks that laced the forest path. The were so fast as they darted from tree to tree that it was like God was controlling them with a remote and kept accidentally sitting on the fast forward button. It made it very difficult (and time consuming) to try and capture them in a photograph. We persisted in our endeavours though because they were so gosh darn cute that we had to have one in picture form. I’m not sure why I find chipmunks so compelling though, I mean they’re basically rats just dressed in fancier fur coats… Anyway I digress; once our work was no longer impeded by the frolicking chipmunk we reached the grotto. The area was all decked out with colourful lanterns and the stone Buddha looked very stately and wise. We weren’t allowed to take any pictures of him though. 

Anyway, that concludes my tale of Gyeongju. We left Korea’s former capital on Sunday and went to Korea’s current capital on Monday. I must say that I prefer the old school architecture of Gyeonju to the urban jungle that is Seoul. I am now of the opinion that the Koreans constructed Seoul simply to confound the white man. How anybody manages to even locate their own homes or places of work in this maze of a metropolis is frankly astounding. If I was a citizen of that city I probably wouldn’t leave my apartment for fear that I would never return if I attempted to navigate my way back. Rant over.

It was unfortunately necessary to base ourselves in Seoul though as it’s the most well-connected city in Korea so it’s convenient for travelling to other parts. We decided to spend a day sightseeing in Seoul before leaving for greener pastures. We went to the Seodaemun Prison Hall where the colonial Japanese used to torture Korean patriots. Some of the torture devices were on display and there were tableaux displaying the techniques the Japanese used to hurt and humiliate the Koreans. The solemnity of the whole set-up was marred somewhat though by the fact that visitors were allowed to play with some of the torture apparatus and go into the cells and pretend to be prisoners. I fit perfectly into a child-sized torture coffin. That is an odd thing to brag about, I know… There was one room that was genuinely chilling though. The room was completely devoid of furniture and was empty save for the black and white pictures of former inmates that wallpapered the walls. It was very unsettling.

 

After the prison museum, we went to Changdeokgung Palace to go on a tour of the ‘Secret Garden.’ We had already undertaken this tour once before in winter but we thought that it might be nice to see the garden again when things would be a little warmer and greener. However the nymphs of the clouds had other ideas and at the very moment the tour started they gathered pitchers of water from the rivers and started dunking them on our heads. The rain continued until the tour ended 90 minutes later. The only way we could get around the garden was by running quickly from pagoda to pagoda in order to seek momentary shelter. Still, even during monsoon season I think Korea is dryer than Ireland. 

On Wednesday morning we boarded the bus to the town of Samcheok where we explored gigantic limestone caves nestled in the mountains and admired the phallic statues in the local ‘Penis Park.’ I shall leave my tales of mountains and members until another blog though as I am quite tired now and I desire feeding.

Until we meet again!