Happy Wedding!

Happy Wedding!

Last Saturday was the day of our co-teacher’s wedding. It was a bizarre and at times baffling affair but I’m glad we went because I don’t think I’ll ever be half so entertained at a wedding again.

We arrived en masse to the wedding venue with the rest of the school staff. The wedding took place in a large 8 story building devoted exclusively to hosting weddings; there is a different hall on each floor which means numerous different ceremonies can take place at once. They are all very quick and efficient affairs as befitting the Korean race.

The first half an hour was spent in the lobby outside the wedding hall where we tried desperately to fit in with the other guests, not an easy task when you are the only pale faces around. The lobby had two little desks where impeccably dressed members of staff were collecting money on behalf of the bride and groom. It is traditional to provide money as a gift as this helps pay for the wedding, a very sensible idea. The staff at our school all chipped in to fill an envelope which we managed to slip to the bride herself. (Apparently if you don’t give it to her directly the parents will pilfer it.)

Whilst in the lobby we were also treated to a slide show of the bride and groom. The photographs were all professional pictures rather than personal photos; they featured images of the bride in numerous different bridal gowns and also a number of photos of the bride and groom wearing matching outfits. All of the photos were posed; even the shots of ‘candid’ moments where they were messing around were actually artificial. After a while I started to wonder where the bride was. I was then informed that she was in the closet. But of course, where else would she be?

‘The Bridal Closet’ is a small white room built for the sole purpose of storing the bride until the wedding starts. The guests may visit the bride here and have their picture taken with her. Everybody acted as if this was completely normal. Whilst imprisoned in the closet with the bride a pocket-sized photographer edged his way into the room and pointed a camera in my face whilst speaking urgently to me in Korean. I was unaware of what was expected of me so I just furrowed my little brow in confusion and stared blankly back. At this point, the teacher standing next to me kindly explained that I was required to make a speech to the bride which was to be recorded for posterity. Unfortunately, I was so bewildered by the whole set-up that I momentarily forgot all my words and the only thing I could think of to say was ‘Happy Wedding.’ Sigh. My foolishness shall now be preserved on film throughout the ages. 

The service itself took place in a blinged-out wedding hall full of bedazzling pink rhinestones. The whole ceremony only took about twenty minutes and people chatted loudly to each other, answered phones and allowed their squeaky-shod children to run about whilst the couple were being wed. There was none of this reverence malarkey that’s expected at weddings back home. The ceremony played out a bit like a theatrical performance; there was mood lighting, theme music, film crews everywhere, and even special effects in the form of a bubble-making machine! The bride and groom were married before I realised it (they didn’t do the whole ‘‘I do’ + kiss’ thing so it was hard to tell when it was over) and then they marched down the aisle. However, their exit was merely for effect because as soon as they reached the end of the aisle they turned around and went back up to the altar to have family photographs taken. They also staged the throwing of the bouquet; only the sole engaged female was allowed to catch the flowers and she had to do this repeatedly until the photographer got the shot he wanted.

After the ‘Western-style’ ceremony the bride had a costume change and put on her hanbok (a traditional Korean dress with simple lines and vibrant colours) in order to prepare herself for the second act. The second act entails a more traditional ceremony with family. We were allowed to take a quick pic of the couple in their new costumes; they looked like a King and Queen from a storybook. 

When the wedding was over the other teachers and I went out for some shabu-shabu (paid for by the bride) followed by coffee. We also did a spot of arm-wrestling. The Koreans’ arms rivalled mine for puniness so the whole contest was quite hilarious to behold. I tried my darnedest but my rag-doll arms were unable to defeat the head teacher who emerged victorious from every battle she undertook. You may feast your eyes on the epic fight below. 

After dining with the teachers Eoin, Gareth and I set out to meet the other wagooks to yet again eat shabu-shabu before venturing forth to the Lantern Festival. I shall write of the evening’s festivities in my next blog for I grow weary and wish to retire for the night.

Until next time…